I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
