? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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