Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
wow bdsm is so cute
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
