ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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