Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
we're so committed to being not committed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
