Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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