Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
