and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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