The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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