FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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