I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
