yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
