I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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