yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
pray to the hookup gods
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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