Quick, to the slutcave!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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