She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
