okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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