He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
