i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
