i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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