I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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