im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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