I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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