Plan B is the new Plan A
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
