lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
