so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
