I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
