awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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