when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
