how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
