Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
