It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
where are you?
Hypothermia
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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