So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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