So drunk its hurt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
