Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
