I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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