Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i believe in u and ur pee
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
false alarm, still single
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
