I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
