but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
