Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
