Don't you send me to vm
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
