I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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