I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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