You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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