You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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