you guys were way drunker than both of me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
