she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
