i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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