please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
