3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
