We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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